Conversations with the Family

So, I have been following the kids around with a notebook for the last several days, writing down the funny things they say. They say so many funny things an hour it is hard to keep up! Here are a few excerpts:

I.
Dr. HF: William, if you get cold playing outside at Kindergarten, all you have to do is run around a lot and you'll feel warmer again.
Wm: But Mama! That doesn't help! The cold is everywhere!

II.
Dr. HF and Wm are playing tigers in the living room. Dr. HF is getting tired of Wm's bad-guy tiger always beating up her good-guy tiger.

Dr. HF: Can my good-guy tiger be friends with your bad-guy tiger? We really have the same goals in the end. We both want to escape the dinosaur.
Wm (pensive): I'll have to check my internet to see if bad-guy tigers can be friends with good-guy tigers. Just a minute. (pause) My internet says that good-guy tigers get to choose, but it doesn't usually happen.

III.
Wm and Mg have just received hand-knit stuffed elephants from Beeba in the mail.

Dr. HF: Beeba sent you these special elephants because she loves you.
Mg: I SO HAPPY!!
Wm: Why didn't she send a lion or a tiger or a cheetah? I want a tiger that stands on all four legs, not like this elephant that stands on two legs. Why does this elephant stand on only two legs?

IV.
Dr. HF is drawing a bath for Wm and Mg. (I presume they are quoting from the song in the movie Madagascar, " I Like to Move it!".)

Wm: This bath is going to be so nice and warm and sassy!
Mg: Yeah! Warm and sassy! Warm and sassy!

V.
Mg: I wanted William to play with me but he just keeps playing with himself.

VI.
Dr HF, Wm, and Mg are discussing the future arrival of P.S. McCrea.

Wm: Jesus is making the baby and God will decide what color eyes it will have. We don't know yet until it comes out. It will look like me, or Marga... or, or Sammy (upstairs neighbor). It has to look like somebody.

Wm: When the baby comes, it will be my birthday and I will be the Chef (boss) of all the kids!

VII.
Dr. HF enters the bathroom to find Wm sitting on the counter-top beating the mirror repeatedly with his wet, soapy hands.

Dr. HF (alarmed): William! Stop doing that! You could break the mirror and you are getting it all dirty!
Wm (with patience): Oh, Mama, don't worry. It's not broken yet, and if you want to look at yourself you can just look at the edges.